Breaking Free from Favoritism- Love Without Bias

What happens to them when we tell them the following:

1. "Why can’t you get grades like your sibling/classmate?"

2. "Look how easily your brother understands math. You should try harder."

3. "She always tops the class. What’s stopping you?"

4. "Why can’t you be more obedient like your cousin?"

5. “Your brother is so athletic and fit. Why don’t you work on your body?"

6. "Look at how confidently he speaks in public. You should do the same."

7. "Why can’t you make friends as easily as your cousin?"

8. "He practices piano for hours every day. Why don’t you show the same dedication?"

9. "He’s so organized. Look at the mess in your room!"

10. "Your friend already got a scholarship. Why are you still struggling?"

So on… and the list is endless.

Parenting effectively involves: 

• Nurturing a child's individuality while fostering a positive and supportive environment. Recognize each child as unique, celebrating their distinct strengths and talents without making comparisons that could make one feel superior or inferior. 

• Focussing on effort rather than outcomes is highly essential, praising persistence and progress to help children value self-growth. 

• Avoiding favoritism by ensuring every child feels equally loved and spending quality time with each of them. This fosters a sense of equality and trust on the adults being non-judgemental. Children have the need to feel secure and included, which would be ensured by showing them they are valued with all their strengths and weaknesses. 

• Parents who help children model empathy and respect, encourage teamwork and collaborate over competitions foster a healthy mindset in their children. 

• Reframing conversations by teaching children to embrace differences and set personal goals, focusing on self-comparison rather than external benchmarks. A major component of it can be done by being  mindful of language, avoiding statements that compare siblings or peers, as these can damage self-esteem and relationships.